Cause and Effect in Neuro Linguistic Programming

How Neuro Linguistic Programming NLP helps to improve our lives. Being 'at cause' is an important principle we teach on our NLP Practitioner Training in New York.

Cause and Effect - the basics

Neuro Linguistic Programming offers a myriad of tools and techniques for self improvement and positive personal change.

NLP gives us personal development techniques for self improvement. It provides us with the ability to manage our inner states, set clear outcomes and make positive choices for ourselves.

Being "in charge" of our own thinking, of the ways we react and of the choices we make are key factors in self improvement. Even Shakespeare understood this when he wrote the line "To be or not to be"...choosing one thing or another, weighing the choices and having to make a decision.

Decisions, Decisions and NLP

Each and every day we are bombarded with choices and decisions. Many of these are relatively simple...what to eat for lunch, stairs or elevator, decaf or regular and the larger decisions, spend or save, Democrat or Republican, beach or mountains. Even though we make such choices regularly we may not always be conscious of one of the biggest and important life changing decisions we can take each day.

We are already accomplished decision makers. I remember when first moving to the US from England and going to the grocery store for the first time. Back in the UK grocery shopping had become a routine... such a regular occurrence where most decisions as to certain brands of groceries had already been made... but my first visit to the local grocery store took hours. I remember being faced with a wall of different detergent products and not recognizing any of them. I had to read each bottle to make my choice, then the cereal aisle took another half an hour as I had to take a look at each box, read the ingredients and decide what I wanted.

Now these are hardly huge choices but this story go to show how our lives are full of the need to make choices, and how used to making decisions we are. Even with the bigger more important choices, we select the options that will direct our lives with care and consideration.

All too frequently we spend a great deal of time and energy making these kinds of decisions. Now some decisions are major life choices and require careful thought and consideration and yet how much time and energy do we put into choosing how to think about our inner states and emotions. How much consideration do we put into how we react to people and events around us? Do you find yourself saying things like "He makes feel frustrated" or "she makes me feel unloved"? I know I did.

"You're making me mad" was a phrase I was frequently known to utter while feeling upset and angry. And at the time I truly believed that the other person was entirely responsible for the way I was feeling. This was before I knew about NLP and began to understand that I was in control of my own reactions, feelings and emotions.

NLP's Solution

As long as we hold onto the idea that "he/she is making me....." then we give control to the other person. We are allowing them to be in charge of our reactions and emotions. If we think about this for a moment we can begin to realize the importance of this. How can someones words or actions really "make me feel" anything?

I know that I am the only one in control of my own mind, and therefore it is my own thoughts that influence my emotions and behavior, so I must be the one who is making myself "mad" or "angry". In NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) terms this is called living at "cause" rather than at "effect". I am able to choose to be at the cause of my own reactions, rather that at the effect of others. In other words I choose to be in the driving seat of my emotions rather than being driven down a road I didn't select.

Being at "Cause" in this instance means:

• being in control of my inner state
• managing my emotions and behavior
• choosing to be open to more resourceful options
• having the ability to select the best for myself

while being at "effect" implies:

• only being able to react to others behavior
• allowing others to take control
• limited choices

By putting myself at "Cause" rather than at "Effect" I open up my choices to a more resourceful field of options, take responsibility for the way I feel and react and have far more control over my thoughts and behavior. NLP provides the tools to have this choice, allowing me to be in control of my reactions and feelings and to choose "to be or not to be".